end of hiatus...?

fast forward 2 weeks from the last entry, and here i am.

4th batch of recruits graduated already. my thoughts about the happenings of the batch are rather scattered now, not sure why. haha.

they're a nice bunch of people la, definitely. i think most of the other commanders would agree with that too. though they DISAPPOINTED me during the last week with their sheer uninterest in trying harder esp when they're about to pass out from bmt.

but at least they were generally quite good during the other 12 weeks. (almost) never late at all! report sick rate as low as an enhanced bmt batch! and opened up to talk more quite quickly, sooner than the 02/08. all we need is more peer pressure to excel. felt that they weren't pushing themselves to their limits at times.

overall a not bad batch though i had a bitter aftertaste :(

***

learnt some things from this batch. will definitely conduct bunk raids. hm.

and friendships/work relations are damn fragile and everchanging. wish friendships can be cemented and become stone. things aren't clear cut but luckily i think i've been "playing the game" of social relations rather well.

ok, i clarify what i just said. i never play with ties (hence the quotation marks). just that i work really hard to not get disliked by everyone (unless the person pisses me off really really badly).

it just isn't nice, really, to be in conflict with others who interact with you. like everytime i encounter a really angry or tense situation, i get really nervous and my hands feel really cold and start sweating. really! esp when i calculate exactly what to say. i suppose when u expect a certain reaction to something, you get quite fearful of the eventual outcome and that's why i get nervous?

it isn't a bad thing to work so as to not get into trouble right? of course not to the extent of sacrificing someone else's interests for it la. must try to compromise. if not, then i'll take sides. hm. so hard to be "right".

***

final batch! i hope i don't screw up. i feel the reluctance in me to do work but i'll have to do work anyways. lol.