i wonder if the maintenance of this blog (that is, in simpler terms, blogging) has caused me to become more self-centered. or is my conscription ironically making me think more for myself?
(actually, it's not illogical. although NS is for the better good of the nation, the involuntary near-absolute surrender of one's time may somehow cause one's head to start cranking up ideas on how to take back what one feels is his and hence, becomes more selfish la. and i'm not making up spin here. chats with some of the people i've met in NS have revealed each of their own selfish nature. of course there are helpful people in NS, really helpful ones and i appreciate them. but i also wonder how many think of using their bookout time for a 'greater' cause i.e. CIP-style work? sigh.)
and an informal (credibility not sure, i didn't check that out) personality test reveals i'm somewhat neurotic, haha. oh well, i guess (i'm hoping, actually) many of my peers would be similarly neurotic lol.
(tekong is quite good so far. got very entertaining bunkmates. finally i can have exciting random chats again heh.)
it's quite amazing how some memories retain their vividness better than others. memories of dreams, experiences, thoughts... the longing for what i used to have (or not have but dreamt of) and indulged in is like a bath in warm scented spring water. or snuggling up in a thick blanket in an air-conditioned bedroom. haha, sigh. don't think i'll experience something real in the near future, i'm too neurotic for anything wonderful to happen onto me hoho...
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