visiting...

rj chorale and mr toh and punch today :) plus yi han + bonkie + zhizhong who also came back to visit the juniors! needless to say i'm happy to see all of them after so long...

i'm looking forward to watch RJ chorale's concert, hopefully i'm able to book out then :\ anyway, i think they're pretty ok, they'll be good when the concert date draws near :) punch has potential too! j1s and j2s, jiayou!!! oh well, too bad the concert can only last one hour. goodness knows how many songs they can do? if the small groups take up, say 20 min altogether, that leaves the chorale with less than 40 mins... add breaks in between items, the concert will only be half the length of a regular one :(

i dedicate the following to my friends (yes, another jap song). try to watch the PV (promotional video) for this song. it's awfully good.

***

Kimi wa tomodachi (You Are My Friend)
(lyrics and music by ken hirai)

You laughed & I joined in the laughter too
Like reflections in the mirror, you're my friend
You were mad, I also got mad without giving up
It seems like a kids' fight, you're my friend

When I'm lonely, keep me company a little longer
Won't you listen closely to what I say?
Only your voice eases my soul
just by making sounds that you're listening

(whenever you feel alone)
Even if we're apart, you'll always
be in my heart

You were crying, I also seemed to be crying
But stifled my laughter; "Cheer up," I laughed

When you're lonely, I'll go quickly to you at any time
I won't snap at your words, but
If my voice heals your heart,
Is it ok even if I just make sounds that indicate that I'm listening?

(that's what friends are for
always be your side)

When it's lonely, keep me company a little longer
Won't you listen closely to what I say?
Only your voice eases my soul
just by making sounds that you're listening

When you're not here, I'm really in a bind
It's something that I'm choked up to say: you're my friend

***

in the past, i thought i had the emotional capacity and empathy to console and guide people (especially friends) through rough times. nowadays, i still try, but perhaps i'm not the wonderful 'angelic' being i was? words of concern can easily be misunderstood as expressions of contempt, pain felt for others are viewed as crocodile tears. what the hell la.

i've learnt not to say much, if anything at all, to grieving people, especially when i'm on higher ground. not because i don't care, but i don't know how to. i'll just stand beside them.

hm or maybe less people are confiding their feelings with me. it's way easier to comfort them if they started talking first.

just to let them know, i'm really truly upset for them. is it my business to be (involved with their lives)? yes, because i can't help but to choose to be.

human relationships are quite hard to maintain properly at times, haha. i hope my friends won't see my lack of response (apart from my obvious countenance upon learning about their results) as coldness. on the other hand, i'm afraid that i downgrade to the category of 'friend only in good times' if i don't help guide and sort their feelings. gah...

anyway, i congratulate the people who are contented with their results :) i personally can't ask for more for myself... i deserve to fail a particular component; another subject grade fell from the sky (a SERIOUSLY underserving grade, an impossibly good that, that is, given my incapacity for writing). i must be really loathed by my classmates now, for getting something i really don't deserve :\