today is a thoughtful but somewhat happy day

i realise my blog is chokeful of rubbish, random thoughts and all.

instead of being totally intellectual and write about things that do matter to the world, like discussions about the us elections or the state of the world's economies, i'm too self-absorbed in enjoying the moment and chasing memories.

so what is the purpose of our lives? well, for many of us it is probably not related to worldly issues, as relevant they are to our lives. quite interesting, how we don't see the 'larger picture' about the world, and cling on to the most 'insignificant' of things, and the smallest of things mean the most to us. at least that is the case for people in my demographic range.

i was quite horrified when i learnt that some people, friends of my age, whom i know are so passionate about making it big in the finance or business sector don't even read about the us elections or the current economic downturn. others are very happy sleeping or playing psp in the day. not that i'm not guilty of that, but at the very least, from what i see, quite a lot of people are apathetic towards global issues.

but it's too easy to overlook global issues, when you are living in a country distant enough to not feel the effects of the happenings, or if you depend on proxies to live your life. i'm still a dependant, and i don't know the exact percentage increase in prices of food, or when the ban on importing malaysian poultry was enacted (but i do know i've not been eating kampung chicken for a long time). nor do i know much about how to go about pursuing non-academic interests. i depend on my mom for food, and to a large extent my dad for money, and schools for directions in life in general.

it is probably the same for many other youths around singapore. just how many of us go to the wet market or gourmet shops (for the richer ones) to buy food. or, how many do find activities to do outside of their comfort zones (which would include the school, friends, religious organisations and the like).

well, i do know a few same-aged friends who are highly in touch with local bread-and-butter and global issues, and they do share with me their concerns about those issues, which explain why i do know some things.

for the rest of us (myself included), it's all about work (personal finance) and politics, play, personal (pastimes), social and love lives. sad that in singapore most of our lives are as such, while in other countries such as france, young adults are customarily shooed out of the house to live on their own. living independently forces people to grow up faster, definitely.

not that i want to live an independent life now! i don't think i'll have financial stability, especially when i don't have a degree or diploma, and costs of living in singapore are so high.

so many of us are mere followers. not that following is a bad thing, but i wonder if there are some of us (like me) who follow but wish they could lead in certain areas.

perhaps that is why sometimes, we are unhappy with our lives. we don't think we can control our own situations. well, obviously, apart from natural occurrences such as cancer, your family background (you don't choose who your father and mother are) and some would argue, your intelligence (nature or nurture), and murphy's law, like the random chance a fallen branch will hit your head and you die from concussion, much of our interaction-based aspects of our lives can be controlled.

and isn't that one of the most important aspects of our lives. it is, in my opinion, the next most important thing after the basic necessities - food, shelter and health - are met. again, you can argue that with the strict regimentation the singapore government (seems?) to have on its citizens, we are left with little freedom. for example, how NS robs young singaporeans of their time.

well, in a way it does. however (thankfully we live in singapore!), our government is enlightened enough to make wise and sound long-term plans in general. and how one of my previous 2ic will attest, the remaining time you have not in ns can be very well spent. he was freelancing as a webpage designer, i think, and can make a neat $2000 or so from every website he designs. at least, try to take away some lessons from the time spent in ns! i'm sure there are.

OK I SIDETRACKED TOO MUCH.

I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT AVENUE Q, and the musical generated this much, and much more, thought in me.

i <3 the characters in the musical! lucy the slut, princeton (who i can probably relate to quite a bit), kate monster, the bad idea bears, and especially christmas eve, rod and TREKKIE MONSTER!!!! omg. graphic.

i wish i could sing and dance and act just as well as the puppeteers... it's so liberating, i think, to express a part of yourself in the character you're acting out. maybe i should look for that chance, to do just that (: