170808

nth much. except it was a very mentally tiring week. maybe it's the lack of sleep. can't be because of field camp for me, since i weathered 3 more field camps before and never felt this way.

it was rather bad, that i had to take a night off on wednesday. it was quite good. ate pizza with lotsa people, then hung around with jeremy n gary. nua-ed around at starbucks with gary, talked cock, then finally booked in.

a lot of small but upsetting things happened recently. i don't think i'm being overly sensitive, as these things never happened before and ought not to have happened anyway. regretted choosing some things (persons, rather). should have taken in the reins for some matters. and could not avoid certain things which piss me off etc.

we had a bbq on friday night. everyone who was able to come did attend. the setting was lovely: two small makeshift barbecue pits set up just inches from the sea. the shore overlooked the johor straits and changi area. bonded with jeremy. listened to him analyse some matters and he's really enlightening. i used to be a bit of what he was like - i mean the introspectiveness. (until last year, when i felt thinking too much drove me to frustration.)

the coy isn't what it used to be. not in a good way.

it's no good trying to be the absolutely accommodating and concerned person you can be. it's painful! i'm learning to live and let live (did i get that right?) ah. oh well.

i'm in bad need of a confidant. someone i can take comfort in. haiz.