another round of rambling, be prepared.

yesterday was a good day, spent time with parents and went out to watch OOTP. not a fantastic rendition, maybe it's because there is zero rising action - there isn't quite a moment where the pacing of the movie is slowed down. quite sad that most of the characters are whittled down to cameos (would like to see more of the professors), though i guess it's essential that it is done. the film is obviously targeted at people who have read the book; there isn't much explanation about the ongoings weaved into the dialogue. and i think a lot of information of secondary importance (but still quite important) got left out. overall rating: 3.2/5 (the extra .2 because its harry potter)

today was a rather sucky day, not just because tuesday is looming. first i tried to resist the temptations of junk/extra food millions of times, and finally the floodgates of my stomach and wallet burst (what's new). second, i spent a lot of time ambling about home aimlessly. practised basic drawing of straight lines and round shapes, poked the piano for less than 5 minutes, sat down in front of the computer for goodness knows how long, had a glimpse of the TV (saw a few moments of kids central, channel 8 and ellen degeneres in bed?!). third, my resolve to exercise on this gloriously sunny and supposedly happy day dissolved into nothingness. fourth, i explored a certain someone's blog - i hope he/she never finds out, i'm quite sure it'll never happen anyway - and i think reading his/her posts affected my mood. how i wish i could change him/her, turn him/her around 180 degrees and revamp his/her life. argh.

i am a lump of fat, the weighing scale with techno electrodes that are supposed to measure your bone/fat/water mass, among other things, can testify. we'll see if i can pass SOC. shit, confirm cannot one, and i'll be sad and embarrassed again, the cycle repeats, blahblahblah. maybe i won't be able to earn my 3stripes, what an entertaining thought. i'll probably attempt to downgrade before that happens to make myself feel better. failure sucks, and i don't want it. who would anyway heh.

calculations of my finances revealed i spent S$1845.96 the whole of this year so far, which is more than half my salary (which includes my forwarded august pay)!? my gosh, if i were a rifleman i would have spent away all of my allowance! don't ask me how i manage to spend S$300 a month. you'll be surprised how all the little expenditures add up, and, can you fathom this, i could have cut my spending by half if i just stopped snacking and going out for things altogether.

looks like my life is pared down to basic survival. thoughts of money, health, career (if you consider being an NSF as an occupation, actually it's not but never mind that), family. not quite in the mood for friendly gatherings or meetings, i like to be alone or with one or two other friends in a quiet setting. oh, just give me assurance i'll successfully complete anything that comes in army, and i think my life will brighten up.

no, seriously, what you've read is really about 90% of what goes through in my brain. of course i could have elaborated more about my weekday happenings, but they are more temporal and my memory and senses have numbed since ages, hence a plain ol' me. i really wonder how long it will take for me to (re?)open up to close and chummy relationships, platonic or otherwise.

i like my blog white now, it's quieter and cleaner :)